I Just Read the Best Book Ever

One night, I was getting textbooks and was feeling I could trust Amazon's influence, as it recommended Man Booker Prize finalist A Fraction of the Whole by Steve Toltz. I bought the book along with a few others, and forgot about Toltz's book until now. Despite the fact that it came out in February 2008 in the US, I still feel the need to spread the word on this book's absolute brilliance. The first half of the book's first pararaph reads:

You never hear about a sportsman losing his sense of smell in a tragic accident, and for good reason; in order for the universe to teach excruciating lessons that we are unable to apply in later life, the sportsman must lose his legs, the philosopher his mind, the painter his eyes, the musician his ears, the chef his tongue. My lesson? I have lost my freedom, and found myself in this strange prison, where the trickiest adjustment, other than getting used to not having anything in my pockets and being treated like a dog that pissed in a sacred temple, is the boredom. [Read more on the official website.]

What follows is a book that has fantastic philosophical interludes like this opening one peppered into an absolutely riveting tale of one young man (Jasper Dean), his father (Martin Dean), and his uncle (Terry Dean). The book, in essence, is told through the son, though much of it is his father's story of growing up with Austrailia's most beloved murderer. The book chronicles Martin's self-destruction most closely, as he struggles against his own haunting nihilistic philosophies to prove something, anything, in the face of his brother and all of the effects and affects of his young life.

I REALLY don't want to give any spoilers here. I was disappointed that I even read the back of the book and found out the novel's settings. The journey from one story and character to the next is one of the most enjoyable, richest I have ever experienced within the written word. The reviews and the blurbs for the book focus on the novel's humor. And while I think the book is funny and made me smile about, the most remarkable thing about this book is just how smart it is. How much it grips you and forces you to blaze through its 500+ pages. There was no point of this book I ever wanted to put it down. The philosophical diversions always fit smoothly and were never clunky, as you might expect them to be when they come up as often as they do.

I'm certain that some day soon, the entertainment trades will have a small blurb that announces that some film production company has taken the rights to the film. This is a scary prospect for anybody that has had the pleasure of reading this masterpiece. If there was anyway to ensure that the Coen Brothers, though I'm not the biggest fan, could pick this book up, I think they could quite possibly be the only filmmakers smart enough to cull through the book to find its cinematic heart. Such a sprawling book can not easily be made into a film, and perhaps its author would never let that happen. But the amount of creative thinking and excitement it spurs in its readers makes me anticipate this pipe dream. As I wait with baited breath for this small headline, please read A Fraction of the Whole.

--bryce

TV Top 9: Nicktoons

This week, we celebrated the 10th birthday of Spongebob Squarepants, which has led us to reminisce on the greatest Nicktoons of all of time.

9. The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius

The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius was Nickelodeon's first fully computer-generated animated program and exemplified a lovely attribute of former Nicktoons productions: a focus on characters who are smart, outside the norm, and love to create. Jimmy Neutron featured the title character, an eleven-year-old inventor and resident of Retroville, his family, and his friends (including Goddard, Carl Wheezer, and Jimmy's rival and almost-girlfriend Cindy Vortex) as they cope with life, grade school, and annoyed Retroville residents (who are somehow always negatively-affected by Jimmy's less successful inventions). Fantastic animation, great pacing, and fun, frisky dialogue combined to turn this cartoon into a marketing juggernaut: Jimmy and friends were featured in commercials for cars, public service announcements, oodles of merchandise and, most notably, the Academy Award-nominated and incredibly fun feature film Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius.

8. Hey Arnold!

"Move it football head!" yells perpetually playing hard-to-get Helga at the end of the opening sequence to Hey Arnold! Arnold, whose last name seems to be Shortman, may go down in animated record books as being the only main character to be voiced by five different voice actors. The whiny pre-teen, who lives with his wise but discombobulated grandparents in a city, Hillwood, that resembles New York but also stole some attributes from Portland and Seattle, is apparently an easy voice to replicate. The series originally started as a comic strip by Craig Bartlett, published by Matt Groenig. It was adapted first as a series of claymation shorts, and spent five seasons on Nickelodeon, as a child's introduction to the streets.

7. Aaahh!!! Real Monsters

Before there was Monsters, Inc., there was another monster training ground. Aaahh!!! Real Monsters had a run on Nickelodeon from 1994-1999. Featuring the voice of Rugrats' Chuckie as Oblina and some really great guest voices, Jim Belushi, Bronson Pinchot, and Tim Curry, Aaahh!!! Real Monsters is the best glimpse at sewer life since Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The creators at Klasky Csupo were imaginative in their conception of the elflike growable Ickis, the candy-cane striped ever-hidable Oblina and Krumm, who held his eyes above his head. As Ickis, Oblina, and Krumm made their way through their monster school, we were enthralled with their scaring adventures.

6. The Ren & Stimpy Show

Considered one of the dirtiest cartoons to ever be marketed to children, The Ren & Stimpy Show broke more barriers than most live action shows on at the same time. Based around the adventures of a fat, "brain-damaged" cat and possibly Mexican, ill-tempered dog most of the shows were a half hour of violence, farts, phlegm and sexual innuendos. But the most memorable moments from the show were probably the fake commercials stuck in between the show's segments. Because who wouldn't want a log? It's big, it's heavy, it's wood!

5. Fairly Odd Parents

Nobody likes little Timmy Turner. His parents are never home. And his teenage babysitter is a bitch. All is going down the tubes until one day Timmy's fairy godparents show up and really just spin his world upside down. You see, the fairly odd-parents will grant Timmy any wish he wants, but sometimes Timmy gets a bit too overzealous and the wish needs to be taken back. Craziness ensues when a bulky Terminator-like fairy seeks to ruin Timmy and Timmy's teacher is keen on discovering his fairies. Now in its 6th season, Fairly Odd Parents has culled some amazing voice talent like Tom Arnold, Ben Stein, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Irwin. The fantastical world of Timmy's imaginat--err..godparent's is a treat for the young and old alike.

4. Spongebob Squarepants

Spongebob made me believe in cartoons again. In a sea of identical anime shows crowding the air waves, Spongebob was a breath of fresh air. From its quirky yet catchy theme song to it's use of live action puppets when the characters left the water - Spongebob was unlike any other show on TV when it first premiered and it seems to only have improved with age. And having evangelical groups protest the show for possibly promoting homosexual behavior only made the characters that much more lovable.

3. Rocko's Modern Life

Rocko's Modern Life taught us many things - what a wallaby was, that a cow could be raised by wolves and accepted as one of their own, that the inside of a turtle's shell is actually the size of a house and that any cartoon that spoofs The Shining will automatically become a classic. It's smarter than usual story lines (see reference to The Shining), off kilter animation style (nothing was ever drawn quite right on the show) and the fact that Rocko worked in a comic book store made me love this cartoon even if I didn't always understand what was going on. Like most cartoons from the '90's Rocko's Modern Life deserves a second watch through if only to catch all the dirty jokes you didn't get the first time.

2. Rugrats

Disney Channel programs weren't always the “be all/end all” of tweendom: in 1991 Nickelodeon debuted the Klasky/Csupo/Germain animated series Rugrats (along with Ren & Stimpy and Doug) to great acclaim—and created a miniature phenomenon in the process. Rugrats featured the misadventures of babies Tommy, Chuckie, Angelica, Lil, Phil, Dil, Kimi, and Susie as well as their families. Still the longest-running program in Nicktoons history (14 years),Rugrats lasted 172 episodes; only “Nicktoon” Spongebob Squarepants, currently on episode 173 in its tenth year, has surpassed it. Rugrats also spun-off two massive hit films (and a third box office dud crossover film with The Wild Thornberrys) and a number of highly-rated television specials and direct-to-video features, spawned any number of branded products, and was rewarded with its own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The show's style and humor has never been matched by another Nickelodeon program; truly original, colorfully animated with what look like magic markers, and as popular with adults and parents as it was with children, Rugrats discreetly brought life's misgivings, religion, race, and social issues to the kiddy sphere.

1. Doug

Even with some of the best animated characters ever (and character names: Doug Funnie, Porkchop, Skeeter Valentine and Patti Mayonnaise included), the real stars of Nickelodeon's Doug were Doug Funnie's imagination and heart. Created by Jim Jinkins, the show (particularly while aired on Nickelodeon and not Disney) was about how Doug couldn't be classified; Doug was Doug and that was just fine. He was a bit nebbish, clumsy, and somewhat unpopular, but Doug knew who and what he liked, and he used his diary and imagination to make his dreams as real as possible. Never a runaway hit or a merchandising darling along the lines of SpongeBob Squarepants or Rugrats, Disney's Doug did make it to the big screen arena in 1999 with Doug's First Movie and Doug was featured in a video game and quite a few books. Still a cult favorite in syndication, call it “Daria Light” if you like and call us if they start airing new episodes.

-- bryce, arielle, and dana c. gravesen

Activist Cinema: By God, See "The Cove" and "Food, Inc."

Two of the summer's most horrifying films have the distinction of being documentaries about human threats on two of the most non-threatening things on this here world of ours -- dolphins and food. Bottom line, see them!

Louie Psihoyos's The Cove, which has the distinction of winning the audience award for best documentary at this year's Sundance and is winning the world over, takes on a small town in Japan, Taiji, that is the center of the world's domesticated dolphin supply. The thing is, you see, that these dolphins are not just bred in the town. They are pushed into the titular cove and those dolphins whom the workers do not deem perfect or fit enough to perform at Sea World or any number of places across the world are killed. These dolphins are then often served as food (sometimes as school lunches), despite the fact that dolphins have unsafe levels of mercury within their fat. The documentary was created by the organization that was established to expose "the cove" and its star member is Ric O'Barry, the dolphin trainer for the classic television show Flipper who has become an animal rights activist, denouncing his former work. Though the documentary is in many ways fascinating and the work of the activists is harrowing in exposing to the world, to Japan, and various other ignorant communities, the practice within the cove, the frenzy it has been causing at festivals worldwide has more to do with its cute victims than its narrative mastery. Still, it's a fascinating and urgent look at what brings the always-smiling Flippers to the Sea World near you. The Cove will open in limited release at the end of this month.

Food, Inc., on the other hand, is just as impressive within the doc world. The doc just became the highest grossing limited release doc of 2009, surpassing Valentino, but behind the behemoth of Disney's Earth. The doc is based primarily on the wildly popular duo of food industry exposés, Eric Schlosser's Fast Food Nation and Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma, and as a companion piece to the two books, it actually pulls its own wait. Director Robert Kenner has produced a film that actually has visually delicious moments but provides an outright, multi-pronged attack on the food industry.

There is the inspirational story of a food activist fighting for the passing of a law that closes down consistently contaminated food plants, who was pushed into action after she lost her two-and-a-half year old son to bacterial poisoning of a Jack-in-the-Box hamburger. But there is also the heavy handed profile of a family, which goes to painful lengths to decide whether foods are worth the health factor or if they must settle for a meal off the dollar menu. In this segment, the family's inner discussions come off as forced and designed for the documentary's specific argument. This segment could have done better with an investigation on just how one can make local-grown or organic food more affordable, even if on a governmental level. And just when you think that it's time to be vegetarian, you're reminded that 90% of the nation's soy beans carry a patented modified gene, which causes eternal economic strife for the farmers of the crop. There are countless other profiles in food, but perhaps the most enlightening is a business deal shown on camera between organic milk company Stonyfield Farms and Wal-Mart. I won't ruin the many gems that come from both sides of the many interviews shown of both sides, but suffice it to say that this story has perhaps the most insights on how the system can be corrected.

There's also a Purdue farmer who loses her contract for being too humane, a livestock farmer insistent on doing it the old way, various immigrant food workers who slowly get deported in a government and industry sponsored scheme, and loads of facts that create a movie theater full of informed consumers. Perhaps more could have been made of the government's implications in all this racket, but it provides a more complete look to an issue brought up on film most notably with Morgan Spurlock's sensational but fun Supersize Me. There is certainly a greater diversity of information dispensed, and more points on which to make changes. I should also add that I saw the film in a special-screening-PR-move sponsored by Chipotle, a fast food company formerly owned by McDonald's, that is committed to buying meat from carefully chosen farms. While imperfect, the company certainly beats its former owner's practices, which provided much of the basis for the film, as Schlosser's book is quick to point out. Start getting informed at the film's website.

--bryce

9 Things Wrong with the Emmy Nominations

The 2009 Emmy nominations are in, and we at the Blahg are here to tell you what went wrong.  Here goes...

1.  30 Rock dominates the comedy writing category.  The perennial winner for this award and the best comedy award is nominated in four of the five slots.  The true winner, though is clear, the only script to fully deserve the honor: Matt Hubbard's genius script for "Reunion," where Tina Fey is "Carrie"d.  No Fey-penned episodes made the shortlist, a good news for the rest of the writers, who will probably get some recognition with a win.

2.  No class.  Farting out of your vagina is finally noteworthy!  I don't think I like the sounds of a Sarah Silverman nomination in best lead actress.  But you may convince me otherwise...

3.  People who don't work for 30 Rock apparently don't matter.  Unfortunately, Emmy 

voters decided to vote for mediocre actors, Jack McBrayer and Tracy Morgan, just because they're on the hit show.  I'm a loyal watcher of the show, but it's certainly not all-hits-no-misses.

4.  No love for Tara.  While I know the schtick is not for everyone, I love The United States of Tara!  At least the ever-deserving Toni Colette got a nomination. 

5.  Mad Men dominates the drama writing category.  By god, all of the good comedy writers work for 30 Rock and the dramatic writers work for Mad Men.  Well, according to the Emmy voters at least.  4 out of the 5 slots in the dramatic writing category are for the ad agency  period piece.

6.  Steve Martin for guest actor.  Never before has someone so comically smart made me laugh so little as Steve Martin as the crazy businessman Gavin Volure.  Meh.

7.  Jeremy Piven.  Wait...he's not nominated.  It's about time he's not gonna win.  So I guess the next logical "wrong" would be...

8. Past wrongs.  May they be righted!  his is the year where the Emmys apologized for its former snubs like Flight of the Conchords, How I Met Your Mother, Big Love, etc.  And Phil Keoghan is now up for a hosting award (though he's already won when Amazing Race won for best reality competition).

9.  There wasn't much wrong with this year's nominations.  The Emmy organization, which is famous for snubbing viable shows, actually did smart things, like taking ratings favorite Two and a Half Men out of the best comedy category. It feels like all of the old members have been voted off the island.  All in all, a good year. Kudos!

--bryce

Music Top Dahgs: Patrick Wolf, Among the Oak & Ash, Firekites

Arielle's Pick: Patrick Wolf's The Bachelor

When I heard that British pop wiz Patrick Wolf was putting out a new album I didn't pay too much attention at first. I had heard a few singles here and there off his previous albums and while I liked what I heard I never bothered to look much deeper into his catalog. That changed when I was sent the video for the second single off Wolf's third album The Bachelor. Wolf's voice is almost Rick Astley-esque and I mean this in the best way possible. When you first see the pixy haired singer there is no way to expect the heavy, luscious voice that comes out of his mouth; a voice that only adds to the depth of his music. Combined with a strong backing string section and a long list of guest vocalists (including actress Tilda Swinton who appears on a number of the tracks as a "voice of hope" guiding Wolf through the album) makes for an incredibly diverse album with an odd combination of dark and sunny moments ("The Bachelor," "Who Will"). A companion album, The Conqueror, is set to be released in 2010 and I can only imagine what Wolf will manage to come up with in the coming year.

Check out the video for "Hard Times" here (Go day glo!)

Bryce's Pick: Among the Oak & Ash

Among the Oak & Ash is Robert Plant and Alison Krauss' Raising Sand minus twenty-five years. The two members, though, are not the leaders of their respective musical genres. Instead, they are two indie-folk singers with significant cred. Garrison Starr and Josh Joplin are the ones responsible for further carrying bluegrass across America and into the twenty-first century. Recorded in Starr's Nashville studio, the album is not quite as polished as Raising Sand (duh!) but it is an honest, spiri ted, and at times fun update of the genre. As Joplin says in one of his solo albums, "I sound like Michael Stipe," and upon playing one of the album's song that is most familiar to the singers' conventional styles, "Bigmouth Strikes Again" my roommate asked me "Is this R.E.M. covering The Smiths? No, certainly, but the entirety stands as an incredibly enjoyable rustic-contemporary summer album.

Landon's Pick: Firekites' "Autumn Story"

Acousmatic indie bands are a dime a dozen these days, but when a certain sound comes out of the haystack with a song that resonates, a handful of simple but profound melodies show the potential to rise above the rest and wedge their place into the zeitgeist. Such is the case for the single "Autumn Story" by Australian band Firekites. Ever since a friend of mine posted the chalk animation music video (that effectively complements the striking beauty of the tune) on their facebook page this spring, I haven't been able to resist revisiting this song again and again. Unfortunately, their album isn't yet available stateside, but the video has received about 10x more hits on YouTube since I first encountered it a few months ago (now reaching over 100K), so hopefully this Internet-based buzz will enable the type of word of mouth necessary to get them to sign up with some minor American label, which will 1) keep me from giving into the temptation of shelling out the cash to import a copy of their LP and 2) hopefully bring the band itself stateside and give Jose Gonzales a run for his money. As for the song itself, "Autumn Story" has never lost its loveliness or power with each of my obsessive revisitations. In its sad but never self-loathing depiction of heartbreak, the song tacitly reminds listeners that, while broken hearts are indeed a universal occurrence, it sure as hell never ever feels that way.

-- bryce, arielle, and landon palmer
landon's blog can be found at http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/author/landon

Michael Mann's Public Enemy is Digital Video

When I first saw the trailer for Public Enemies, I was excited to see it. And that surprised me. I'm not crazy about Michael Mann and I don't go gaga over Johnny Depp. A slick trailer and, dare I say, a sexy suave Johnny Depp convinced me that this would be a movie for me. And what's sexier than a 1930s U.S. period piece? And by God, we've got a glowing recommendation from the perpetually plagued producer Harvey Weinstein.

The story tells the last days of John Dillinger, starting from one prison break and hopping from Robin Hood bank robbery to bank robbery. Meanwhile, he falls in love with a girl and cavorts with other thugs. And that's all So what's good? Well, the costumes are suave. The music is slick bluegrass. Marion Cotillard as Dillinger's French-Native American girlfriend is endearing and is powerful in one of the most painful moments of the film, an abusive interrogation. And hey, Christian Bale isn't annoying, and he has a normal voice.

In his review of the film, our good friend Landon Palmer at Film School Rejects, notes Mann's use of digital video:

Mann’s digital approach thankfully hits here more than it misses, as Dante Spinotti’s cinematography captures certain moments of incredible beauty and vibrancy of color that simply feels like a fresh departure from film; and once you allow yourself to sink in to the unique visual style of Public Enemies (which may take awhile), the digital aesthetic complements and stratifies rather than detracts from the film, despite the odd decision of choosing digital for a period piece. But it doesn’t work all the time. The incredible sequence at Dillinger’s wooded hideout exhibits the best and worst of the technology: it has given Mann and co. the ability to shoot with unparalleled detail, especially at night (thus replacing the annoying “day-for-night” blue hue usually used in film), but it seems like no filmmaker, including Mann, has quite mastered the art of rapidly moving the camera without it looking at least a little amateurish.

And with Landon, I respectfully disagree. He's right to say that Mann looks amateurish in his rapidly moving camera shakiness, but here the cons of digital filmmaking outweigh the pros of making such a film in the newer medium. From shot to shot in these tense scenes, the shaky cams go from in focus to out, from sharp to under-saturated. BUT as far as the cabin hideout scene, I was delighted to see a conventional scene in a new way, the muted colors are intriguing and the angles permitted by lighter cameras feel fresh in an all too conventional shoot out scene. For those that like tommy guns and dapper 30's dress and cars, this film is for you. For those that like story over style, go see something else. And as for Harvey's contention that this is the film to beat at the Oscar's this year, that's more a testament to a weak slate of movies this year than a case of a stellar film.

--bryce

Gossip Meets Rick Rubin, Bring Back Old School Rock

Who knew that a simple loss of an article could do wonders for a band?

After getting some mild mainstream success off their last album, Standing In The Way Of Control, indie darlings Gossip (Who needs a "the" these days? We are in a recession anyways.) all but disappeared back into the indie buzz from which they came. There were rumors of a new album in the works. Legendary producer Rick Rubin had suddenly taken interest. They were written up in all the major music mags. I even caught them on a random tour a couple years back. But for the most part all the news of any new material seemed to hypothetical. Enter Music For Men, the band's fourth studio album produced by Rubin and released digitally in the states last week. It may have taken three years for the album to get here, but after the first listen I think it's easy to say that it was worth the wait.

When I first heard that the new album was being produced by Rubin I was skeptical. For a while he was the King Midas of rock, any album he touched automatically turned to gold. Not to say that still isn't true, all of his projects are extremely commercially successful but that's all they seem to be made for - commercial success. Sure, Metallica's Death Magnetic was better than St. Anger but wouldn't have anything been better? And I'll admit it, I used to sorta like Linkin Park, but even I have to draw the line at listening to their emo inspired album. His work with System of a Down were some of my least favorite albums to come from the band. It's as if his magic touched has been reduced to merely a gold sheen. (I want to make it clear that I'm in no way belittling Rubin's accomplishments. If I had even an ounce of his success and skills I could die happy.) And needless to say, all of my fears were for naught.

Music For Men is a reminder of what a great rock album should be - a collection of songs that are at the same time extremely catchy and upbeat but also mind-blowingly original. This album is a huge step for the band and shows exactly what kind of difference a major label can make for an indie band with buckets of potential.

The moment I hear Beth Ditto singing on the opening track ("Dimestore Diamond") I remember why I had been so anxious for this album to come out in the first place. Voices

like this just don't come around that often. The passion,

range, and perpetual growl (see: "8th Wonder") draws obvious comparisons to Janis Joplin. And just like Joplin I think that Ditto's strength is in her live performances because that's when he voice really gets to shine. So when the band comes around again, which I imagine will be in the Fall sometime, make sure to get your ticket ahead of time because it's definitely not a show to miss.

Check out the insane video for their first single, "Heavy Cross"

-Arielle