Music Top Dahgs: Miike Snow, Stephin Merritt, St. Vincent

Arielle's Pick: Miike Snow

The Swedes have done it again! Well two Swedes and one American to be exact. Formed two years ago in Stockholm, Miike Snow (named for the Japanese horror Director Takashi Miike) finally released their self titled album last month. I've found it hard to describe their sound exactly if only because it's so complicated in its simplicity. From the first track "Animal" (my official feel good song of the moment) that's a cross between electro-pop and a barber shop quartet to "Black & Blue," a song that sounds like a straightforward ballad that is the love child of a Prince single and a Casio. But then again, two-thirds of the group are the masterminds behind Britney Spears' hit "Toxic" (a song that everyone I know loves, even if they won't admit it) so you can't help but end up with a laundry list of infectious tunes that are hinting at more than merely what's at the surface. I'm even completely obsessed with their remixes, like this one that they did for Vampire Weekend's "The Kids Don't Stand a Chance." Their recent show at Mercury Lounge sold out quickly proving that their indie hype is definitely more than just that. They come back this September and you can be sure I'll be first in line for tickets.

Bryce's Pick: Stephin Merritt's music for the stage production of Coraline

In an all-too weird stage musical adaptation of Neal Gaiman's novel Coraline, Stephin Merritt's (Magnetic Fields) compositions and lyrics are what gives the production its only useful idiosyncrasy. Most useful not when it is Coraline, inexplicably played by an...old...actress, Jayne Houdyshell, but when it is sang by the chorus of creepily whispering and screeching supporting characters and the writer of the book, cross-dressing Other Mother David Greenspan. In the film's climactic moment, where Coraline confronts her Other Mother, Greenspan's voice goes from baritone to falsetto in a moment that defines the character's fantastical, inexplicable existence. More jack-in-the-box melodies than indie rock fare, the music to Coraline absolutely befits the magical otherworldliness of Gaiman's original work. More than the movie based on the same material and the musical itself, Merritt's music is the most fitting of all the pieces of auxilliary works inspired by the novel. Coraline leaves the Lucille Lortel Theater July 5.

Landon's Pick: St. Vincent's Actor

A friend of mine very aptly described the core appeal of Annie Clark’s (aka St. Vincent’s) sound, and I’m going to steal it here: her vocals always stand in stark contrast with her music. The former Polyphonic Spree and Sufjan Stevens backing vocalist has an elegant and calming voice that seems inherited with the capability to sooth a tired soul on a lazy Sunday afternoon, though this is not to say her vocal talent is without a great deal of range. Luckily, her music is coupled with the vocals in an equal, and sometimes challenging, range of sounds meant not to accompany the oh-so pleasant reverberations of her voice, but seem to contrast it with disruptive, confrontational, and sometimes tense tunes. Yet St. Vincent’s second full-length album is hardly meant to be inaccessible. The marriage between Clark’s vocals and her music is an odd one, but results in a cumulative sound that is surprisingly fitting and matured, an album that shows a remarkable preoccupation with composition from such a young artist rather than a an extended effort to identify her persona as primarily associated with her voice. Neither music nor vocals accompany one another here, and instead collaborate in an ideal complementary form, an aspect of her sound that remained in tact during her remarkable US tour-ending performance at The Mohawk in Austin, Texas on June 19. St. Vincent aptly mixes the beautiful and the odd, but neither of these concepts are treated in this album as being mutually exclusive. Favorite tracks include “Save Me From What I Want” and “Just the Same But Brand New.” Actor is a work of remarkable depth, and should be listened to again and again.

-- bryce, arielle, and landon palmer
landon's blog can be found at http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/author/landon

1 Year of Blahgging!

When I was a wee sophomore at Syracuse University, I had to take a Pass/Fail course that made us youngsters experience the "true culture" of Syracuse. Included in this "culture" was a trip to the Syracuse Symphony. I don't remember what piece was being performed but I do remember wishing I didn't have to be there in the face of all that small city snobbery. The professor for the class made us write a review of the performance. Though I completed a review of ample length with substantive criticism of the absurdity of the aristocratic posturing of people living in -- erm -- the middle of New York State, my paper did little to bolster the high culture standard the class was so meant to preserve. I received a D- on the paper. I was asked after class to write a replacement paper about another event. I didn't complain to Professor William West, but I was pissed. Bitching doesn't count?

Thank you Professor West! I get paid to feel blah now (Thanks Google Adsense!)!

And now for a list of our most popular posts:

1. Twilight Review
2. United States of Tara Review
3. TV Top 9: Sluts
4. TV Top 9: Series Finales
5. TV Top 9: Talk Show Hosts
6. Female Rapper Manifesto
7. Bryce's Top 10 Films of 2008
8. Arielle's Top 10 Films of 2008
9. Dare at Sundance Review
10. Yang Yang at Berlin Review

--bryce

TV Top 9: Judges

It's summertime, and as I spend most of my days before 3 PM within the confines of my apartment, I've taken to courtroom TV shows. No, I'm not ashamed. Though I don't think you should refer to any of these shows for legal counsel, I'm taking to the blahg to name the top 9 TV judges of all time with a little help from Arielle and Dana! -- bryce

9. Judge Elizabeth Donnelly (Law & Order: SVU)

There have been plenty of judges on the many incarnations of Law and Order throughout the years but few have made the same impression as Judith Light's Judge Elizabeth Donnelly. Maybe there was something exciting about seeing Angela Bower reincarnated as an attractive, older judge, but the episodes where Judge Donnelly presided are the ones I tend to remember. She's lied to detectives about issuing a warrant in order to convict a child molester. She's stepped in for the D.A. and argued cases on the other side of the bench. And, most importantly, she's shown the difficulties of being a female judge. She was recently poisoned by a CSI intern gone insane, but we SVU fanatics expect her to make a full recovery in time for the next season.

8. Judge Mills Lane

Triply eligible for this list of TV judges, Mills Lane is both an iconic boxing referee and a (maybe forgettable) courtroom TV judge. After throwing Mike Tyson out of the highly publicized Tyson-Holyfield fight in 1997, Mills Bee Lane III hosted Judge Mills Lane for three seasons in syndication. Known for his stuttering stupefying utterances, Lane was fair but impatient. Though Lane also voiced the referee for Celebrity Death Match, he needed to stop after a stroke paralyzed him in 2002. All in all, the best judging Lane possibly did was what contracts to sign, as he seemed to get more of his fifteen minutes than a referee should possibly get.

7. Judge Zoey Hiller (The Practice)

One-of-a-kind Academy Award-winning actress Linda Hunt brought cache and originality to her role as Judge Zoey Hiller on David E. Kelley's preposterous (most of the time) legal drama The Practice. Whenever Judge Hiller was featured in an episode, excellent dialogue between the main characters, surprising conflicts, and the most interesting cases were sure to follow. With a panache for keeping the kooky lawyers of Robert Donnell and Associates in check with biting, sarcastic (but legally binding) comments, Judge Hiller usually ended up (often begrudgingly) siding with their arguments. Many of the show's cases were morally problematic and many of the characters' dilemmas controversial, and Judge Hiller was the perfect foil. One of the great secondary television characters in primetime drama's history.

6. Judge Mablean Ephriam (Divorce Court)

Though she never served as a judge in the "real world," Judge Mablean Ephriam was the presiding "judge" of Divorce Court where she, more often than not, sat flabbergasted at the feuding wife and husband in front of her. She demanded too much $$ for hair, make-up, and her salary, and her contract was not renewed. Lynn Toler, a former judge, took over, and ratings plummeted. (Could that be because they're now pulling stunts like "Before the Vows" week? Huh?! I recently watched an episode of a married couple who, after the episode, wasn't sure whether they were going to get divorced afterwards.) This shouldn't affect her standings on this list but she did star in many a Tyler Perry film a-judging Madea.

5. Judge Joseph Wapner (The People's Court)

The man who brought small-claims court to the small screen deserves a spot somewhere on this list right? Sure! Judge Joseph Wapner, though a Hollywood High School graduate, was certainly not as full of panache as she-who-solidified-the-trend Judge Judy but his trailblazing efforts gained him twelve years behind The People's Court bench and two seasons on a worthless little Animal Planet show called Judge Wapner's Animal Court.

4. Judge Penny Brown Reynolds (Family Court with Judge Penny)

New to the courtroom TV show game, Judge Penny Brown Reynolds is from the same Atlanta court system as Nancy Grace and Judge Hatchett. Like her two famous colleagues, her compassion is more important than her verdict. Reynolds is the most level-headed of her Atlanta cohorts. Though all three focus on children and families, Judge Penny is the first to name her show after the people she is trying to help. You could call this "practicing what she preaches," because Reynolds is a recently ordained Baptist priest. Come August, I wouldn't be surprised if Judge Reynolds takes away the second-ever Courtroom TV show Emmy.

3. Judge Marilyn Milian (The People's Court)

For the last eight years, Judge Marilyn Milian has presided over The People's Court. When insanely popular Judge Joseph Albert Wapner resigned the post he'd held for twelve years, there was little positive buzz that any replacement could retain the show's momentum (and a couple interim judges did indeed fail pretty miserably); however, Judge Milian blew away audiences right from the get-go in 2001. Though (unfortunately) often overshadowed in the press by Judge Judy Sheindlin of Judge Judy (whose husband is, coincidentally, one of the failed hosts of the revamped People's Court), Judge Milian is notorious for having the hardest edge of any judge on daytime television--and for occasionally flipping out. She never misses a beat: under her reign the program has been nominated for two Daytime Emmys. Oh, and she was on As the World Turns--bonus!

2. Judge Harry T. Stone (Night Court)

One of the most popular American sitcoms of the eighties and early nineties (remember when NBC had it in the bag for three decades?), Night Court featured a cast of incredibly talented character actors (namely John Larroquette in his career-making and unforgettable role as well as Markie Post as his foil) anchored by Harry Anderson's "straight" Judge Harry Stone. But "straight" is such a relative term, isn't it (wink, wink)? Harry was a Mel Torme fan, a prankster, a magician, and (most importantly) fairly frustrated by his job and coworkers; a fine and "time served" was his tpyical sentence for criminals dragged into all-night proceedings in downtown Manhattan. Anyway, sincere and genuinely funny, Judge Stone was an interesting and original character at a time when there were too many Sam Malones on television.

1. Judge Judy

She's loud, she's sassy, and since her premiere in 1996 she's been the top rated TV judge. With eleven Daytime Emmy nominations under her belt, it's no wonder that Judge Judy has been renewed for a seventeenth season. Her attitude made take notice (anyone that gets joy out of embarrassing people in front of 10 million people is alright with me) but her catchphrases aka "Judyisms" are what made her a household favorite. And, lest we forget, behind every loud mouthed judge there must be a straight man bailiff and it doesn't get any better than Petri Hawkins-Byrd, Judy's loyal bailiff since the show's inception. Her one liners are golden but watching her make the ever stoic Hawkins-Byrd crack up makes them all the better.

-- bryce, arielle, and dana c. gravesen

Letters to the President and the Iranian People

Last week, Iran held its national elections to elect a President. The official announcement was that incumbent President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was the winner. Since then, people have taken to the street to both protest the supposed results and to support Ahmadinejad. The divide is as clear as clear as red state-blue state. The President has a rural fan base that is rabid in its religious rhetoric and belief -- much like the followers of a certain US President from Texas. The issues are as frustrating as anyone only familiar with the American situation earlier this decade can imagine. After so much media attention on the protests against Ahmadinejad, I think it's important to understand why the man who supposedly won the election does have some support from some of his people.

To do its best at explaining this, I'd like to recommend a film that I had the pleasure of publicizing in its early life [Ed. note: I am no longer affiliated with the film] -- Petr Lom's Letters to the President. [See it's HBO schedule here. And the website here.] A direct decendent of Robert Drew's Primary and all of its direct cinema brothers and sisters, the film is an absolutely entrancing exploration of the rural appeal of Ahmadinejad's populism. The film is centered around the conceit of citizens writing letters to the President. In a brilliant PR move, the President has asked the citizens to send him letters with any request and a response will be sent out. Ahmadinejad sends money directly to those in need, should they write him expressing said need.

This is the missing piece of the puzzle needed to understand the Iranian political situation: How is Ahmadinejad so darn popular? Well, to some, he inspires hope and faith! Sound familiar? Maybe, but what doesn't sound familiar is something that gets no coverage in the film (to the disappointment and outrage of many liberal Iranian viewers) and too little coverage in the US news media: the horrible human rights abuses that occur within Iran in the name of the Ahmadinejad administration (most glaringly killing gays and lesbians and other social outcasts as well as a declared opinion that sounds a lot like Holocaust denial). While Obama has played it cool in order not to provoke another war, the US media would do better if they provided a more full understanding of the Iranian situation that goes beyond just reporting on the scary protests that have been erupting lately. After all, if we are going to tiptoe around this, we should be fighting PR against PR. But in order for a PR war to be successful, we all need to be informed.

--bryce

$9.99 is Probably Worth a Bit Less

I elbowed my way into a public screening of $9.99 before it has its theatrical release this weekend. Though the packed crowd was responsive and moved throughout the screening, I couldn't help but notice a collective "huh?" when the credits started rolling. There was a lot to "huh" about. Many people were gabbing about the film's magical realism: how they should watch the film high or how the film is something that will make you think days after with all of its pesky symbolism. But some, like me, were "huh"ing because the various sub-stories, worthy of a Robert Altman comparison, hardly came to a conclusion. In fact, much of the film was spent giggling at the motley crew of quirky characters in zany situations: a burly guy shaves off all of his body in order to bed a model; a young, directionless teen attempts to better his life by sending away for self-help books for the low price of $9.99; a stoner talks to his miniature Indian in the Cupboard-sized friends.

But giggle-inducement does not a good film make. Not even a good stop-motion animation film. The film is surely fun. It understands how to do magical realism. But, truthfully, a good film transcends absurd situations and ironic solutions to ridiculous problems in order to assure the viewers a worthwhile viewing experience, some kind of payback for sticking with a narrative. The charaters in the film, based on the short stories of Israeli writer Etgar Keret (who wrote the screenplay) are rich. However, the script allows the characters no opportunity to interact with each other in a way that is in any way vindicating or exciting as a viewer.

What can be marveled at beyond the idiosyncracies of some of the characters is Israeli director Tatia Rosenthal's adept stop motion animation. In one scene of the film, a character puts his wallet back into his back pocket. He is walking while he is doing this, but the real evidence of mastery can be seen when the character miscalculates where his pants pocket is and then on a second try gets his wallet in. It is by no means important to the plot that the character missed his pants pocket on the first try. The movement was so subtle I'm surprised I noticed it, and it is ingenious movements like this that allow one to suspend disbelief with the figurine characters. All in all, though, the production suffers from a weak script that lets a myriad free radical-narratives dash around a Sydney apartment complex without reaching any satisfying or memorable destination.

--bryce

Music Top Dahgs: Grizzly Bear, Discovery, Matt & Kim

Feeling So Blahg's Music Top Dahgs
**we love lame puns**

Arielle's Pick: Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest

What’s better than a group that fights about harmonies and sings about dories? These are only two of the things that make Grizzly Bear’s new album, Veckatimest, so refreshing. While their last album was extremely experimental, the melodies on Veckatimest make it much more accessible and give it a haunting feeling that will stay with you after the first listen. The first single “Two Weeks” sounds like it’s being performed by the ghosts of doo-wop’s past and the video only lends to the supernatural undertones. The combination of ethereal harmonies, the band’s use of natural sounds and the song topics (have I mentioned the dories) makes this album sound almost like a Pet Sounds for the new millennium. Let’s just hope none of them turn into a Brian Wilson.

Bryce's Pick: Discovery

When I heard that vocalist Wes Miles from Ra Ra Riot and Vampire Weekend's instrumentalist extraordinaire Rostam Batmanglij would be getting together for a side project, Discovery, I was confused as to what these two could do that their respective bands couldn't. After listening to half of Discovery's new LP on their website, I can attest to the fact that something is actually gained when all of Wes's backing music is synthesized. Batmanglij has developed snappy appropriations of contemporary hip hop beats that when meshed with Miles' slick often Japanesey (as in Japan-referencing) lyrics bring pure bliss. The duo also remixed Ra Ra Riot's hit "Can You Tell" as a teaser for the album, and with its overuse of the autotune, I'd like to thank the duo and their "people" for not including it on the LP track listing. UPDATE (6/25): "Can You Discover?" is back on the LP.

Landon's Pick: Matt & Kim's "Daylight"

It’s easy to associate certain songs with specific points in your life, and it seems there’s no more associable time of the year for great tunes than summer. Sometimes specific events jog your memory, and other times it’s the catchiness of the song itself, and such is the case for the single “Daylight” by Brooklyn duo Matt & Kim. “Daylight” can best be described as infectious—a song that, once listened to, refuses leave your head, but that’s okay because you don’t really want it to. The earnest positivity and general sense of reckless fun that Matt & Kim permeate throughout this song are as contagious as its simple piano progression is catchy. I regrettably first got wind of this song through a Bacardi mojito commercial—a questionable but arguably necessary process for bands like Matt & Kim to get on the radar—but I’m glad I did because it would’ve taken me awhile to get in touch with this tune otherwise (I apparently saw the duo perform, and have the pictures to prove it, at SXSW two years ago, but my drunken haze at the time prevents me from recollecting their live vibe). I myself wouldn’t associate the song with mojitos (PBR maybe), but whatever I remember about the summer of 2009 down the line, “Daylight” for me will no doubt be on its soundtrack. Bonus points for the band’s refreshingly unironic shoutouts to Williamsburg, which make “Daylight” perfect for a stroll down Grand St.

-- bryce, arielle, and landon palmer
landon's blog can be found at http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/author/landon

Outrage is not as Outrageous as I Wanted it to Be

Kirby Dick was all the talk of the TriBeCa Film Festival with his film Outrage. Since then, it's been having meager ticket sales in limited release in major markets across the country. The film has been a scandal in political news media. It seemed to gain most attention because it ended up being marketed or thrown about the rumor mill as "Go see this film to see who's gay in national politics!" Well, just look at the blog at the center of the film, Blog Active. A simple visit to this website will give you the information that former Senator Larry Craig (R-ID), former Rep. Ed Schrock (R-VA), Rep. David Dreier (R-CA), former Rep. James McCrery (R-LA), former Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL), various senior GOP Senate, House, and Presidential staff members are G-A-Y-Gay! The documentary is more than that, though, it is an indictment of the hypocritical members of politics who use gay issues to gain votes but are closeted, spiteful gays on the side. But it's more than that, too; it's an indictment of all politicians who use hatred of gays (no matter how sincere they are being in their homophobia).

But let's not forget the central point of the movie -- exposing hypocrisy. In their media tour for the film, Blog Active founder Michael Rogers and director Kirby Dick insisted that their film was meant to expose hypocrisy. To show that there are filmmakers that are not interested in outing people. On The View, Rogers aligned himself with Elizabeth Hassleback, saying that he too did not agree in outing, but his ethics compelled him to do so for the good of politics and truth. Dick agrees with him at this point. I'm a bit confused, then, why the film outs Fox News newscaster Shepard Smith. As Fox News's "straight" news guy, he is not quite responsible for the network's infamous right wing spin. The clip of Smith on Fox News brings up another revulsive element of the film -- Internet-quality clips pervade the film...all from TV broadcasts. If you can't get it at broadcast quality...wait, why can't you get it at broadcast quality?? You're an Academy Award-nominated filmmaker. I will back down from my soapbox here if it's the case that Dick couldn't get the clips licensed due to the nature of his doc.

Finally, there are some really great interviews in the doc. I CERTAINLY don't agree with the politics of GOP gay group Log Cabin Republicans, but past leaders Rich Tafel and Patrick Guerriero were excellent in noticing the hypocrisy in their own party. But the most effective, eloquent speaker on behalf of gay Republicans and, in fact, an eventual proponent of outing is former Rep. Jim Kolbe. In his interview, he describes being out as one of the greatest reliefs of his life. Kolbe outed himself after The Advocate intended to out him in retaliation for his vote against the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DoMA). From the other side of the political fence, Larry Kramer was probably the most consistently articulate voice, with his recounting of historical New York City political hypocrisy in the 1980s. Though the Larry Craig case was Dick's most constant referent, only a few moments in that case stand out as being particularly effective: I can picture vividly the experience one of Craig's tricks had as he was kicked out of Craig's house after a sexual encounter. And Craig's wife has a surreal expression on her face as she denies entering a marriage of convenience in an interview with Matt Lauer. All in all, the film has ended up preaching to the choir, and will probably not thwart Charlie Crist's prospects of becoming a Florida US Senator in the only state that has been outlawing gay adoption (though this has been declared unconstitutional and is being sent through the court system as I write). Good try, Mr. Dick and Mr. Rogers! Heres to hoping you can have a few more notches on your cleaning-up-the-hate belt! And here's to hoping that an Oscar nomination can happen and more attention can be brought to these issues and politicians.

--bryce

Music Top Dogs: La Roux, White Lies, and Company of Thieves

Feeling So Blahg's Music Top Dogs for the month of May (a few days late!)

Arielle's Pick: La Roux

The 80’s are back in a big way and no one is bringing it better than La Roux. From their electropop sound to singer Elly Jackson’s flashy retro style, which consists mostly of geometric shapes and bright colors, this brand new Brit duo is already stirring up plenty of indie buzz without having yet released an album. The kind of buzz that could work against them, but in true indie darling style (think Arctic Monkeys) their product has lived up to the hype. The second single “In for the Kill” has already reached #2 on the UK charts and I’m pretty sure their next one will surpass it. Check out the video for “Bulletproof” and I guarantee you’ll be humming it all week.

Bryce's Pick: White Lies' To Lose My Life...

When the blahggers went to see Friendly Fires/White Lies at the Bowery Ballroom a month or so ago, we were surprised that the opener, White Lies held their own to Friendly Fires' flailing fun. The 80's are back in a big way when it comes to the White Lies too, with lead singer Harry McVeigh channeling Depeche Mode's Dave Gahan. Their newly released Geffen debut album is a haunting but powerful experiment in talented songwriting and a musical balance of gloomy and fun. From the brute "Death" to the breezily poetic title track, White Lies lends just enough pep to the brutally honest emotions of the album's lyricism. "To Lose My Life" begins:

He said to lose my life or lose my love,
That's the nightmare I've been running from.
So let me hold you in my arms a while,
I was always careless as a child.
And there's a part of me that still believes,
My soul will soar above the trees.
But a desperate fear flows through my blood,
That our dead loves buried beneath the mud.

Landon's Pick: Company of Thieves' "Oscar Wilde"

I’ve been teetering back and forth on this song the past week, but I can’t help coming back to the first single from Chicago-based Company of Thieves again and again. While the lyrics seem, on initial listen, sparse, clichéd, and even a bit

meaningless (they sound at first like a random assemblage of words to go with the far superior tunes), the hooks are irresistible. And while I was initially turned off by the appropriation of Wes Anderson’s Rushmore for the music video, I find myself enjoying the song a lot more accompanied with the video than just listening to the song by itself (this partly has to do with the fact that I’m kind of in love with frontwoman Genevieve Schatz). “Oscar Wilde” is a simple progression between building and receding hooks, and is very repetitive, but that’s exactly what makes songs like this so re-listenable. Although the band looks like they’ve come straight out of an American Apparel ad and the video’s channeling of Anderson, who even hipsters have by now rejected as a hipster spokesman, seems rather dated, the repeated lyric “live like it’s the style” can be read sardonically. On second glance, then, the song can possibly be interpreted as criticizing blanket, superficial appropriations of culture by hipsterism (from indie films to skin-deep referencing of important literary figures like, say, Oscar Wilde), thus making ourselves “our own devil” to culture. Lyrics and meaning aside, listen to it for the music.

-- bryce, arielle, and landon palmer
landon's blog can be found at http://www.filmschoolrejects.com/author/landon

TV Top 9: Series Finales

This season saw the end of favorites The L Word, Pushing Daisies, The Shield, Without a Trace, King of the Hill, MadTV, and Kyle XY. It also saw a whole bunch of new series flop, maybe never to return: Kings, Kath and Kim, Life on Mars, The Unsuals. This month, we ask who knew how to end with the most panache. We give to you the 9 best TV series finales.

9. Seinfeld

Even if you didn't watch Seinfeld regularly, everyone and their mother tuned in to watch the series finale. I can say this because my parents refused to pick me up from a school trip until it was over. And when they finally did get me, theirs was the only car on the road. A veritable encyclopedia of the best Seinfeld characters, the finale gave fans a chance to say goodbye to the entire cast all at once. From the Newman, to Bubble boy, to the Soup Nazi we were reminded what made Seinfeld such a great show to being with - the secondary characters and the horrible ways in which they were treated. The last episode closed with the joke from the first episode, truly bringing the story of Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer to a perfect end.

8. Freaks and Geeks
We all know that this Apatow/Feig masterpiece was canceled way before its time, but at least we were left with a worthy series finale. I’m not sure what was better - watching James Franco play Dungeons and Dragons in a basement with a bunch of geeks or Seth Rogen scream “Disco sucks!” at a sparkly jumpsuit clad Jason Segel. The only moment that could outdo those two is the closing scene where Linda Cardellini’s character hops into a hippie van to follow around The Grateful Dead for the summer. Freaks and Geeks was always so entertaining because it was so realistic and the finale captures this perfectly. Freaks become geeks and

geeks get to travel on the road with hippies and we’re reminded of that time in our life when we realized it was all right to do something new.

7. Newhart

Though more inconsistent than comedian and writer Bob Newhart's earlier flagship sitcom The Bob Newhart Show, Newhart's debut in 1982 initiated another eight years of ratings succes for the deadpan star. Independent of the somewhat jarring series, however, exists “The Last Newhart.” Aired May 21st, 1990, the finale to define all sitcom finales self-reflexively pokes fun at the series itself, sitcoms in general, and the contemporary tendency for dream sequences in mid-to-late eighties series (particularly the Dallas shocker in which 31 episodes were dispensed as a dream belonging to a main character). Dick Loudon (Newhart's character), tired of running the Stratford Inn and dealing with its off-the-wall denizens and errant golf balls, decides to leave. On his way out the door, Loudon is struck by a golf ball. After a fade, Newhart wakes up as Bob Hartley, his character from The Bob Newhart Show. In a

gag that was common on his first show, Hartley and his wife, Emily, discuss his dream while constantly turning the

lights on and off, simultaneously winging another zinger at the other's expense. Brilliantly conceived and written, there has never been another sitcom finale that even comes close.

6. Golden Girls

Dorothy Zbornak gets married? To Leslie Nielsen? Say it is so! The Golden Girls series finale featured Dorothy moving into a resplendent estate with Blanche's relative with whom she was having a fake relationship that was more fun than she bargained for. Seven seasons of aging women jabbing each other with below-the-belt scathing lines came to an end when Dorothy says "You're angels. All of you." Leaving behind her three best friends, she goes to live the life she never got with ex-husband Stanley. Not to be outdone by Leslie Nielsen, Stanley is featured in the episode, giving his blessing to the girl he cared so much about.

5. The Mary Tyler Moore Show

“I cherish you people,” bellows Lou Grant, and with those words, the staff and talent of the WJM news team—having, with the exception of Ted, been unceremoniously fired—leave their familial workplace and turn out the lights on The Mary Tyler Moore Show. Aired March 19th, 1977 “The Last Show” (as it was subtly titled) was, at the time, an anomaly in American sitcom history. The Mary Tyler Moore Show was still an incredibly successful sitcom but, rather than fading away into ratings oblivion, the producers (including Mary Tyler Moore) decided to end the series rather than see it canceled by the network. With the return of spun-off but lovable characters Rhoda and Phyllis, the finale of The Mary Tyler Moore show was original, funny, touching, and, most importantely, precedent-setting.

4. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

What’s better than a show with two series finales? Well, a series with two totally kick ass series finales of course! First we have “The Gift,” written before Buffy the Vampire Slayer was picked up by UPN for two more seasons. Buffy dies, everyone cries and this fan wishes it had remained the only the season finale of the series because it brought an intense feeling of closure that the second one didn’t quite have. The close up shot on Buffy’s tombstone reading “She saved the world…a lot” is unforgettable. The second go at a series finale, “Chosen,” didn’t quite hit the same emotional cues (except for when they killed Anya and Spike, why!?!) but it still managed to tie up all the loose Sunnydale ends while still leaving the story open for the rest of the franchise.

3. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson



After 30 inimitable years, Johnny Carson emerged from that tacky multicolored curtain for the final time on May 22nd, 1992. Though Johnny's final comments made US late night hearts flutter, the penultimate episode featuring Bette Midler and Robin Williams was the real star of the two night event. Robin was simply Robin at his best, but Bette was simply divine—her performances of the tailored-for-Carson number “You Made Me Watch You” and “One For My Baby” brought down the house (and the host). No talk show in history has ever retained the respect or ratings of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Fifty million people viewed the series finale (the episode aired sans guests but featured Carson interacting with Doc and the rest of the gang). I think, along with Carson, his audience “enjoyed every single minute of it.”

2. Six Feet Under

Viewers of Six Feet Under were used to watching people die, but they may not have been ready to see the whole cast die in the series startling 1.5 hour finale, "Everyone's Waiting." After the character's 2005 storyline comes to a close neatly and heartwarmingly, Sia's breathtaking "Breathe Me" begins and the roller coaster of a lifetime begins. I won't ruin what happens to each of the characters here, but suffice it to say that what happens is an absolutely perfect ending to one of the best dramas to ever grace the silver screen.

1. M*A*S*H

M*A*S*H, the wildly successful sitcom based on the wildly successful Robert Altman film based upon some book that I'm sure was wildly successful, went all out for its 1983 finale. The 2.5 hour finale was watched by more viewers than tuned in for any television series episode. A record that will probably never be beat. Directed by Alan Alda, the episode ended a war, dealt with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder just a few years after it entered into the public consciousness as a concept, and ended one of the tamest and most popular criticism of the Vietnam War. "Goodbye, Farewell, and Amen" is an episode to remember!

-- bryce, arielle, and dana c. gravesen

Dana's blog can be found at http://theglitterparade.blogspot.com/

Eminem Gets Ass in Face; I Get a New Desktop Background

In a hilarious stunt for his new film based on the gay Austrian fashion plate Bruno, Sacha Baron Cohen stuffed his crotch in rumored homophobe Eminem's face. Homophobe? You ask. I thought he sang "Stan" with Elton John at the Grammy's a few years back. Well, true, he may not be a homophobe. But the question was whether or not Eminem's storming out of the MTV Movie Awards was a publicity stunt in itself. Usually, Cohen's victims are unsuspecting, but I'll give the Eminem the benefit of the doubt here.

However, I'm not going to give Macho Em the benefit of all doubts. You remember when critics think that Eminem is the greatest thing since well...since hip hop was created? Well I'm sick of that, and I'm sick of his self-important, fight-picking, nickname-creating music getting fawned over by everyone who writes about music. Thank God the new single, with a hook sung by "Jessica Simpson" AKA Charmagne Tripp fell fat on its face. Too bad, though, that the album debuted more or less across the globe at number one. Do people want to hear him talk about important he is and how much we missed him?

--bryce